Ughhh

Current annoyance: EVERYTHING!

Stupid LA weather!

Today

So this guy, he's my cousin. He thinks my friend is cute, so they start talking. He lives in Virginia, lets just say he works for the US. He visits home, we all go out and he keeps talking to my friend. Months pass and he visits again, and like before we go out. So we get drunk and go to a party, and this guy is asking me if my friend likes him and stuff. This guys "exgirlfriend" picks him up. According to him he was on a break for 2 weeks already. And today my friend and I find out he got married on Saturday! my friend and I went to the beach on Saturday and we ask this guy "how was your day" and guy says "it was ok, thanks for inviting me to the beach"!!!! WTF!!! He just got married and I (his cousin!) doesn't even know!

So this morning I talked to him, and he says nothing. He still has the nerve to ask if my friend likes him! Seriously, I cant believe it. I hate being lied to!! Like why the fuck do people do this?! You lie to me so I wont tell my friend anything?! damn this stuff really frustrates me!!

On that note, I just dont get "teens" anymore. I found out today also that another family member of mine is making drastic changes for some guy. Like "your 19 dude, what are u thinking"!!! I just dont get it! Don't people have goals anymore?! Why do you wanna settle down so early in life? You guys should be LIVING! Having fun! Going out! even doind stupid shit!!

I don't know, I just don't think marriage is for anyone under the age 0f at least 23. That's just my opinion. People have so much going for themselves! Why interfere with such a life changing commitment when you can do anything with your life. Why not make something of yourself and then get married!

Just

Haven't been feeling good. Two days in a row, I've had a headache. I feel like crap.

My Thought of The Day

So last night, I was hanging out with an old friend, drinking some beer haha. She got a little tipsy and started talking about Karma. She put it quite clear to me: Karma doesn't exist.

Yea i know, every freaken person lives by the quote "what goes around comes around". But guess what? its a bunch of bullshit. There's no such thing as Karma! its just LIFE!!!! you fuck up and so something stupid and that's it. There's no "it will come back to you". You know why? because you pay for your mistakes, you learn from them. You get what you deserve for whatever action you take, whether it be good or bad! Positive or negative, you get rewarded for it. It just seemed so interesting coming from a buzzed person haha. I guess because the beer kinda got to me too. lol.

I've made a lot of mistakes. Now looking back, I always believed in Karma. But, all those times I've messed up, I didn't get what i deserved, I just learned from it and realized not do do it again. I never say never, and I always somehow happen to make a same mistake twice. I don't know, I can be very stubborn sometimes. On that note, is it a girl thing? I over analyze everything every time! I go over and over the same thing and think of possible outcomes for anything. I look at the bad most of the time, especially when it has to do with a guy. It tortures my mind over and over, and why cant I learn from that?? All in all, this so called karma thing is essentially about learning from "what comes around". However, I always allow my emotions into my judgement and do those mistakes over and over that eventually I become so un-motivated for anything.

Meh, I'll sleep on it...

Well, anyway, here's to another day. :)

live your life

The more time passes, the more I realize it was so much easier way back when I was a kid. These days it all seems like a routine. None of that random craziness is here anymore. I remember when i was little, I would get home from school, do my homework, and off I went to play with the neighborhood kids. Everyday it was a different game, and knowing that made the anticipation even greater. Each day was a different adventure, and no matter what it was, we made sure we had the best time. I remember playing hockey, baseball, soccer, and even barbies! I used to love playing with the guys, it was more exciting than dolls haha. And even now, I only seem to get that same satisfaction when I go camping. I guess being away from this city and technology really puts things to perspective. Not having reception on my cell phone or any other gadget allows me to want to do things and explore and entertain myself with something fun and creative. As i sit here now, my blackberry to my left and ipod to my right, while the tv is on and I'm listening to some John Mayer, I realize that I cant get that satisfaction from any of these gadgets. It's frustrating to realize that its all superficial. Even as my phone rings at this very moment, I don't want to answer it. Its weird, this sense of boredom with life and routine. I think its time to become that kid again and embark on a great adventure daily just as it was when I was a kid. Even if its just one thing a day that I do different, maybe that will bring me some kind of good change?

I'm going to try it. I don't want to be bored with life anymore! Its not even as cliched as saying "live life to the fullest". All I want to do is change something about my day, everyday, in hopes of being happier. Only then will I be "living life to the fullest". So here I go!!!

Hmmmm

I'm sitting here wondering why I'm doing this. and its all thanks to the bestest athlete i know! Shannon! and aside from having nothing else to do, i grew kinda tired of myspace.

so anyway, i always hear these cliche jokes about people that blog, and i never thought I'd be a fellow blogger but its cool to write down your thoughts, even though i really doubt anyone will ever read this, but blah! i enjoy it :)